A difficult day

Today was Aunt Kathy's funeral and I would have to say it was a difficult day for me. I have been under a huge amount of stress the past couple days and I was one of the speakers. So the funeral, knowing that I was going to speak and some other events that occurred has basically sent me over the edge. I feel like I was a mess but somehow I was able to give a nice tribute. I really felt the power of the prayers that were given. Speaking was also not quite as big of a deal as I was making it to be. I like it when that happens. But now I have a headache and I am very tired. So I'll go put in a movie and try to relax.

Happy Birthday Grandma Kunzler

I just wanted to take the time to wish my Grandma Kunzler a happy birthday. I know that really it doesn't make too much sense since she passed away almost 12 years ago. I guess that it is just she has been so important to me that I think of her daily and miss her terribly. I always wonder how things would have been if she would have just stayed around just a little bit longer. I feel that I needed her but the Lord knew that she was needed more elsewhere.

This past week has been horrible for me. I can't go more that a couple of hours before I start crying. Not just a small tear here or there but a full out crying session. I am really missing my aunt Kathy. Then knowing that she died only days before grandma's birthday has also been hard.

These two women in my life have been my examples of a mother. I feel as if I have lost my second mother instead of an aunt. I don't know if there is anyone out there who can really understand what the means to me but I feel lost in a way. I can't get my mind to focus on anything except for Kathy. Good things finals are done. I knew that this day was coming but why did it have to come? I know that my wants are quite selfish because she was in so much pain. I guess now it is now time for me to be the person I know I can be in order to be worthy of seeing them again once my time comes. I don't think that there is anything else that I want besides to be worthy of seeing my family again. They are my world and life will never be the same without them. I love them so much and it is so hard having to be without them. They are true examples of who I want to be in my life. I just hope that they are proud of who I am and what I do.

I love you Grandma and Kathy. Please watch over us and be a guardian angel. I still need you even though you are on the other side and are busy doing other work. I look forward to seeing you again!

To the worlds GREATEST aunt. ever!

Dearest Kathy,
To all the tears of joy,
To all of the tears of sadness,
To all the tears of Laughter,
None is more painful than the tears of departure.

I would like to thank you for all of life's blessings that you have given me. From the moment I was born until your final breath of life. You have been an example to me that will never be taken for granted. You lifted me up when I was down and reminded me of the joys of life. I can't believe this day has come when you leave this earth and join another. Simple or complex words cannot explain the sadness and pain I feel in my heart to have you gone, but I know that my tears are selfish because you are where you are suppose to be and I will one day join you along with our many family members. For death is not the end but only a beginning we just need to be worthy of it.

The page is turning and I must live the rest of my life with only the memories that I have of you. Not a day will go by that I won't think of you.
There is so much more my heart would love say but I do not have to words that will take my pain away.


I am so extremely grateful for the gospel and peace that it brings. For when our loved ones pass away we have the knowledge that we can reunite again. I look forward to that day with eager arms and to feel that loving embrace.

In loving memory, December 13, 2011.

Here is quote from Mr. Magoriums Wonder Emporium. Magorium is talking to Molly Mahoney about something that has come very close to me very recently......

Mr. Edward Magorium: When King Lear dies in Act V, do you know what Shakespeare has written? He's written "He dies." That's all, nothing more. No fanfare, no metaphor, no brilliant final words. The culmination of the most influential work of dramatic literature is "He dies." It takes Shakespeare, a genius, to come up with "He dies." And yet every time I read those two words, I find myself overwhelmed with dysphoria. And I know it's only natural to be sad, but not because of the words "He dies." but because of the life we saw prior to the words.

[pause, walks over to Molly]

Mr. Edward Magorium: I've lived all five of my acts, Mahoney, and I am not asking you to be happy that I must go. I'm only asking that you turn the page, continue reading... and let the next story begin. And if anyone asks what became of me, you relate my life in all its wonder, and end it with a simple and modest "He died."

Molly Mahoney: [starting to sob] I love you.

Mr. Edward Magorium: I love you, too.

[picks Molly up, sighs heavily]

Mr. Edward Magorium: Your life is an occasion. Rise to it.

Molly Mahoney: Are you dying?

Mr. Edward Magorium: Light bulbs die, my sweet. I will depart.

More excitement in Davis County: Part 2

Here is another part of our crazy day today. After the guys got back from taking a load to the dump, they told us how crazy it was. The line of cars heading to the dump was MILES long. So basically it went from the dump to the freeway. I can't not believe how many trucks there were and the whole process of everything. It is just speechless and jaw dropping.





The first picture is the FIRST area to dump all the trees/branches/whatever. This is on your way to the dump and the rest of the pictures below are from the dump. There were SO many people and it was just line after line after line of trucks and trailers full of branches.











Anyway I hope you enjoy the pictures of our adventure. It has been quite an interesting day. We have been working from 11-4:30pm non-stop for some. I think there is still more to do but luckily they are almost done. Just think how long it took us and that is just within our SMALL ward boundaries.

More excitement in Davis County

This morning started out very interesting. Skyeler and I was struggling big time to get out of bed and to church one time. Well dad came down around 8:40am and said that we really needed to be to church on time because there is going to be another storm and we are only going to have sacrament meeting. I thought that was really weird and so we went to sacrament meeting and the ward was informed that after the meeting we will be going out and cleaning the ward boundaries so we don't get projectiles with the debris that was out there from the last storm. So we got into our groups and headed out. As of now all the big strong men are taking a load to the dumb and will be back later and we'll go out and finish cleaning up since we couldn't fit it all in the truck and trailer.

Here are some pics of the ward working!









After we loaded up the truck and trailer from the debris from our street Kandie and I came back to the house to clean up some more things and move some stuff into the garage. I was looking up on the news and I am amazed. They have a few clips of the dump and it is packed. Should be since everyone in Bountiful and Centerville are taking all the debris away but, again it is just amazing! Gov. Herbert has asked everyone to plan and secure the debris as well as deployed the Utah National Guard this morning to help out with everything that is needed. Skyeler is kind of sad that he isn't already trained because he would like to help more than just around the neighborhood. He wants to be called to go help but he won't be. I'm sure you have to be trained in order to be deployed. All in all I am glad to know that I am safe and that I will be around family. Now if only I could hurry and finish my paper so I wouldn't have to stress about that if the power goes out again.

Excitement in Davis County

As most of you know or experienced Davis county had a huge windstorm on the first of December. Let me tell you It was BIG! You can't go more than half a block without seeing a down tree, fence, or some kind of damage. I guess the majority of it happened that morning and Skyeler and I had slept in a little and we woke up around 9:30-10am and noticed that the power was out and it was super windy. Well as we were getting up we went outside and saw trash all over the street since our trash cans had been out and Dad had called me to go pick our up from the bottom of the street. At this time it wasn't super windy but we sure saw the effects. In the back yard the shed thing had missing shingles and as we were walking down the street to pick up the trash can we saw our kiddy pool in the front yard of the house aprox. 3 houses down. Well I went into the Huntsman Cancer Institute in Salt Lake for my apprenticeship since they had power and Sky wanted to go up to the Hill Air Force Base since he has his Military card and can!! Well I was talking to Becky while I was up there and heard how I-15 was constantly being closed to pick up tipped over semi-trucks and what not.

Well after I put in my hours Skyeler told me that everyone was going over to Will and Becky's since they had power. Well we had dinner there and had some great conversation and dinner and around 10 ish we decided that we needed to head home and find out the status on our power. We got home and well didn't have power and so we had to go around with flashlights etc... To me it felt like we were camping in style so it wasn't a huge deal. Just an inconvenience since I had a paper due the next night and Saturday night and I really wouldn't have a chance to do them because of the power. Lucky me they gave those without power an extension YAY! Well we had some pie and went to bed and our power came back on around 2:30 am.

That is the extent of our power outage.... But here are some pics of around the neighborhood.









Yesterday when Skyeler and I got home from some Christmas shopping Mollie and Kandie were talking about how the top of a tree fell on Charlie and Megan's house and punctured a hole in it. Long story short we went over there and this is what we found.







It is CRAZY what this wind did and I am very glad that we didn't have extreme damage and just a little inconvenience from the lack of power. I am also glad that nobody got hurt. Well I hope you enjoyed the excitement that we had.

National Guard

Skyeler is officially in the National Guard now. He went and got everything finished and settled November 17th. It was a very long day for him, it started out at 4: something am and he spent the day at MEPS getting his physical and signing a contract. Then he went down to the National Guard Headquarters in Draper where I was waiting for him along with Katrina and Cameron to swear in and make everything official. But before all of that he went and got a uniform and exercise clothes. Its weird because he isn't going to take any of that stuff with him to Basic.






Thank you sooo much for your support Cameron and Katrina. You guys are so amazing and I am so blessed to have you as my friends.



So now we wait till February 6, 2012 for him to leave for basic at Ft. Jackson in North Carolina where he will be gone 10 weeks then he goes to Georgia for air-born school for 3 weeks, then after that to Maryland for 28ish weeks for is AIT (job training) as a Combat Documentation / Production Specialist. AKA a military filmmaker. So hopefully he can come back and get a job with the churches media department. That is the plan anyway. We also hope that he can test out of or knock off some classes at UVU when he gets back because of all of his training. We will see what happens though. Seems like things don't always go according to plan but at least we try to have a plan. I just hope something good will come of it and that our lives will turn around for the better.

I know that this will be a time of growth for both Skyeler and I. He will be out having someone yelling in his face to motivate him and getting knowledge and skills for a career that he will absolutely love and I will finish school and hopefully find a job with something I will enjoy and feel that I can better other peoples lives and be an example to them. Its weird knowing that I was suppose to go into Psychology for what I want to do but then now that I am so close to being done not knowing what to do. I want a job where I can help others realize that life can be better no matter what has been given us. I want to help couples strengthen their families and marriages. Especially blended families. I feel that I could really help others through my experiences that I have had. I know I could do all that as a marriage and family counselor but I don't want to go to school for it. So many things to think about.

So we will see how things go the next couple months and find something good in all of it.

Hike to Ensign Peak

When Skyeler and I first got Ezio up to Bountiful we went on a hike to Ensign Peak. You can see it on your way to Bountiful if you look at the right spot. Well anyway we had a lot of fun and it was quite interesting as well. Here are a few reasons why: We had Some random lady tell us that our dog made her day. :) and we ended up running into this guy who is from London and works as a film editor. He was in Salt Lake for that reason and he had his little kid there with him on this hike. Well his child loved our puppy and it was really cute watching them. As we were watching the kid and the puppy the guy was asking us if we had seen Lilo and Stitch. We said yes and long story short we were told that he knew the guy that made the movie and that Stitch was based off of a Boston Terrier! We then mentioned Toothless from "How to Train your Dragon" and he said that the same guy made that film too so Toothless is also based off of a Boston Terrier. We really had the feeling that both of them were but now it is confirmed they are.




Another thing that was really interesting is that Skyeler's ancestor is the Author of "High on the Mountain Top" and we saw this neat sign that explained things and it was very awesome for Skyeler to see this.



It was a lot of fun to go there. I hadn't been there since a Youth Conference in High school so it was a really cool. I'm sure when it gets warm I'll go up there again.

Shortest post ever.

It's my 4th anniversary today. YAY!!!

Being Crafty

I am going to admit that I have been a little addicted to pinterest.com. But I will say that I have made something that I found really cool from that site and it goes great with our anniversary that is on Thursday!!



I think it turned out great!! We basically made a frame and painted the back piece of wood that the 12in X 12in back-splash tile sits on, then hot glued our letters and decor.

Here is a closer look of the top portion.


Let me know what you think of it.

4 Years ago TODAY!

So 4 years ago today I was getting ready to be married in one week. As of this morning it has been 4 years since I went through the temple for the first time. It really is kind of weird thinking how fast time has been flying. I would post pictures about this day but if you actually want to see pictures or find out about my day you can read an older blog post. hmm I was blogging exactly a year ago. Weird.

Other than that Skyeler and I have been trying to make some big decisions that will affect our life big time. (no, not talking about having kids) But this decision will defiantly push that back quite a bit. I will tell you what I'm talking about in a later post. Even though many of you already know what I am talking about.

Hopefully you guys will come back and read my blog again!

I Quit.

So I quit my job. The first week of working there I had realized why I was so excited to quit 4 yrs ago. CNA work is hard. Not just physically but mentally and emotionally as well. It is hard to have to go to peoples homes and shower them because they are unable to do that themselves. It gets really hard to see people you know get to the point that they can't do things themselves. There was a resident at Barton Creek when I worked there over 4 yrs ago that I got along with very well. She is still there but looks in bad shape. It is also very difficult to constantly have to clean up peoples messes and do almost everything for them. There was a client that had the entire left side paralyzed so we had to do EVERYTHING. That included transfers, showers, cleaning etc. It was hard especially since I am a small person and having to transfer this old person 4+ time in one shift, ya lets just say I didn't like it.
I quit my job mainly because of the work but I was also getting really behind in classes and my grades were suffering because my schedule was all over the place. I would have someone at 7 am then not again till 8 pm. then there were days that it was from 7 am - 4pm non stop. It really wasn't working out. So Friday I just told them things aren't working out and I had to quit on the spot. I know I couldn't have made it another week. I would come home and cry to Skyeler because of work and the stress.
I feel bad that I quit my job but I know it was the right thing to do. I just hope that Skyeler and I will be provided with another source of income soon. I really want to have my own place and be able to feel like I am in charge of my life and just live life with my husband and eventually add kids to the picture. In Relief Society today it was mentioned that there is a season for everyone with what they are going through and that we need to remember to enjoy where we are at and learn what we can while we can. I know I need to do this but it is hard when you see other people and how life is for them and wanting just the basics that everyone should have. Is it too much to ask for an apartment and jobs that pay the bills. (of course when I say jobs I want something that I don't come home crying from) I guess there is something I need to learn and I'm just not learning it.
But I am grateful that I do have a place to stay and food to eat. At least I have my basic needs met and I shouldn't complain. I could be in a worst situation than what I am now.

I'm Getting Excited

I really shouldn't be excited but I am. Dad and Kandie are letting Skyeler and I bring up our puppy. WOOOOO! It has been over a month since I have seen my dog and I miss him very much. (I know its just a dog) But still, that cute little face just makes me happy and it is so nice to have a living creature just excited to see you all the time and just wants luvs and cuddles. Some of you might think well just have a baby if you want something cute to look at and a living creature to be excited to see you and wanting loves and cuddles. I will admit a baby is more important but at the moment I only have a puppy so :P .
Anyway, Skyeler is on set for the film in Goshen (I need to blog about that and put up some pics) so he will be heading to Richfield after he gets of set and bring up Ezio tomorrow. YAY. Now I think I will test out this research I was told about on how dogs can lower stress. I have been under A LOT of stress so we will see if it works. So far so good I'm more excited than stressed!

New Job

I have gotten another new job. I was hired at South Davis Community Hospital (again). This is the same company I worked for when I worked at Barton Creek before getting married. Only this time instead of being there I am with their home health and hospice. So again I am an official butt wiper. Not my favorite job but I have many years of experience and so I am good at it. That and it gives me a good excuse for when we have kids that all the dirty diapers will be changed by Skyeler. :) Ya probably won't happen but I could at least try.
Well this job has been interesting so far. Quite stressful actually. My first couple shifts was in training obviously and that went well. Last week was my first week alone and I was quite anxious and nervous about the whole thing just because it has been so long and I have to worry about getting to the persons house and knowing what I need to do there once I get there since some might just be companionship and others might be a shower or bed-bath. I never know what it is I'm going to do till I get there. I just always get so nervous when I don't know the person and I always worry about transfers. I am a small person and I can't pick people up. Lets just say I love hoyer lifts.
So far my schedule hasn't been really set in stone. There has been only two days out of the five I was scheduled that has stayed the same. Monday I switched a client and added 4 hrs to my day and then Thursday and Friday instead of doing my scheduled shifts it was changed for a 12 hr overnight shift from 9pm - 9am. Then Saturday and Sunday was added for the 12 hr overnight shift as well. So I added two days and many hours. I can't complain to much since I just sit here on my computer watching 24 on netflix all night. Next weeks schedule is full as well. I was hired as part-time and I am working full time hrs. Especially since I took on these 12 hrs shifts. I think I have 17 clients for the week so that is about 17 hrs for the week but add on my 24 hrs earlier. hmm. that is ALOT. Plus I still have to do my school stuff. So I feel overwhelmed. Especially when I have to be at a clients house by 7 am. It has been quite the adjustment for me.
What I do like is that on the days I work early and only 5 clients I could be done by 12 or 3 or whatever so I get to enjoy my evenings now. I have never really been able to do that since I have ALWAYS had a 3-11 shift.
With all my anxiousness and stress of starting the new job I keep thinking maybe this isn't a good place to work or I'm not sure if I can last very long here. I hope I can. Especially since I need to have a job so Sky and I can get our own place. I've wanted that for a long time. So hopefully everything goes better and I can hurry and adjust. Either that or Sky hurries and gets this awesome amazing job that will support us and I wouldn't have to work. Only problem is finding that job. Sky has a couple good leads especially since he is on set with the church's film. He has shown a couple of people there his talents and I hope he can find something that way. That would be so awesome if he could work for the church's films as a set or prop designer or maker. But I guess for now I get to shower old people and wipe butts. At least it pays well. (more than my other cna jobs).

Changes

So there are going to be some changes for Skyeler and I soon. We have decided to head back up north. We will be in my parents basement hopefully for only a short short time. I have really been wanting my own apartment for a long time. In fact I've been wanting one ever since we knew that we were going to have to move down to Richfield to Skyeler dad's basement in July of 2010. So it has been a very long and difficult year for me. I admit I have been extremely jealous of everyone! Especially of a certain couple. I hate seeing how good and somewhat perfect other people's lives are including jobs, activities, housing, relationships etc.. then looking at mine and seeing how not perfect it is.

Hopefully now that we are starting our changes in life I might be a little bit more likely to enjoy the ride that life takes us. I know that everybody has a different situation and good's and bad's in life but I'm human and just want things to be good right now and not have to wait for it. So it is just doing what is in my power to make things better. I just hope it works so I can feel happy with my life and not so jealous of others.

Wish me good luck because the day after tomorrow is when we head up to Bountiful. I just really hope we can both find jobs that will support us so we don't have to feel like we are poor and be able to find a decent and clean place to live that isn't super expensive and will let us have my puppy.

Do you think it is possible? To find a place that is not really expensive and will let me have my puppy?

Ezio!!

I love my puppy he is so funny at times. So here are just some fun silly pictures.







-For some reason he has been laying in his crate like this and I do NOT see how he is comfortable.







Isn't he cute!!

Kitchen Remodel

Last Friday I had Skyeler help me with washing some walls around the house and from there we ended up doing an entire Kitchen redo. Long story short we have been wanting to do something with the kitchen for quite some time because hey it is UGLY!!! So we had started to rip down the wallpaper and we ended up repainting and making this area SOOO much better. Just take a look at our before and afters!!




-Here are the Before's.


-Midway through.






-The after's.

It only took us from a Friday to Tuesday. We only had a few things to do the last day like put everything back and clean things up but as you can see it is quite the redo! It looks so much better!

California / Disneyland Family Vacation

In March of 2010 the my family brought up the fact that every 5 or so years we go to Disneyland and the last time we went was around 7 yrs ago. (as of last yr) So we had started to make plans to go to Disneyland in August of 2011. WOW what a wait for someone (Skyeler) to go to Cali when he has never been in his life. It was a long wait but so very worth it. We started our vacation on the 5th by driving down to Vegas and ended our vacation coming home on the 14th. We were in California the 5-13 and we stayed in a house that we rented and it was only a block from Disneyland so we were able to see the nightly fireworks or hear them every night.

Saturday was a drive and relax day. We got there and set up our rooms and had dinner with the family and we ended up swimming in the pool that we had in the backyard. It was A LOT of fun. Lindsay and Scott also announced that they were expecting and are about 13-14 weeks along. YAY!!! I can't wait.

Sunday included sleeping in a little and heading to the beach with Dad, Kandie, Lindsay and Scott. It was so much fun because the whole ride we were asking Skyeler about what he thought it was going to be like and if he was excited to see the beach and ocean for the first time. It was so enjoyable to be able to see him experience stuff for the first time and I am glad that I was able to be part of it.











During our beach time Skyeler had tried to build a face in the sand and Lindsay was trying to bury Scott in the sand and turn him into a mermaid. But the waves kept getting further up the beach. Sky had to try twice and basically when he was about to show everyone or about to finish the waves would ruin it. Same with Scott and Lindsay. As soon as I was going to take a picture of Scott in the sand the waves came and Kind of ruined it. :( OH well huh.

At one point we almost had everyone jump in the pool and diving off the diving board. I think there was maybe two who didn't get in and that included Becky and I. Debbie was thrown in with her street clothes on by Scott and Skyeler and Scott both decided to jump in with their clothes on. But it was a surprise when Scott did it. He just went up to the diving board and ran right in with out to many people noticing till he was in mid jump. As it started to get darker we turned on the lights that were in the pool and so it made the water look really cool. I then had whoever was in the pool spell out the work CALI in honor of our vacation!! IT was Skyeler, Kandie, Dad, and Scott. It looked AWESOME! I could say that Ryan is the period at the end of Cali.





Monday morning I think we sat around waiting for Midieval Times. OH my goodness that show was amazing. I had so much fun watching the show and watching Skyeler enjoy everything. I think if we lived in the area he would want to work there as one of the actors. Everything was just amazing especially the food!! I really enjoy coming to Midieval Times. It was so much fun watching the actors joust and fight to the death and watching all the little girls get flowers from the knights! Naomi even got one!












Tuesday was the start of our Disneyland adventure. Skyeler had to make sure he had a picture as proof that he was there!





Space Mountain was our very first ride in Disneyland and of course we HAD to get a picture! Can't you tell that Skyeler is SOOO excited! :)