I Quit.

So I quit my job. The first week of working there I had realized why I was so excited to quit 4 yrs ago. CNA work is hard. Not just physically but mentally and emotionally as well. It is hard to have to go to peoples homes and shower them because they are unable to do that themselves. It gets really hard to see people you know get to the point that they can't do things themselves. There was a resident at Barton Creek when I worked there over 4 yrs ago that I got along with very well. She is still there but looks in bad shape. It is also very difficult to constantly have to clean up peoples messes and do almost everything for them. There was a client that had the entire left side paralyzed so we had to do EVERYTHING. That included transfers, showers, cleaning etc. It was hard especially since I am a small person and having to transfer this old person 4+ time in one shift, ya lets just say I didn't like it.
I quit my job mainly because of the work but I was also getting really behind in classes and my grades were suffering because my schedule was all over the place. I would have someone at 7 am then not again till 8 pm. then there were days that it was from 7 am - 4pm non stop. It really wasn't working out. So Friday I just told them things aren't working out and I had to quit on the spot. I know I couldn't have made it another week. I would come home and cry to Skyeler because of work and the stress.
I feel bad that I quit my job but I know it was the right thing to do. I just hope that Skyeler and I will be provided with another source of income soon. I really want to have my own place and be able to feel like I am in charge of my life and just live life with my husband and eventually add kids to the picture. In Relief Society today it was mentioned that there is a season for everyone with what they are going through and that we need to remember to enjoy where we are at and learn what we can while we can. I know I need to do this but it is hard when you see other people and how life is for them and wanting just the basics that everyone should have. Is it too much to ask for an apartment and jobs that pay the bills. (of course when I say jobs I want something that I don't come home crying from) I guess there is something I need to learn and I'm just not learning it.
But I am grateful that I do have a place to stay and food to eat. At least I have my basic needs met and I shouldn't complain. I could be in a worst situation than what I am now.