I just wanted to take the time to wish my Grandma Kunzler a happy birthday. I know that really it doesn't make too much sense since she passed away almost 12 years ago. I guess that it is just she has been so important to me that I think of her daily and miss her terribly. I always wonder how things would have been if she would have just stayed around just a little bit longer. I feel that I needed her but the Lord knew that she was needed more elsewhere.
This past week has been horrible for me. I can't go more that a couple of hours before I start crying. Not just a small tear here or there but a full out crying session. I am really missing my aunt Kathy. Then knowing that she died only days before grandma's birthday has also been hard.
These two women in my life have been my examples of a mother. I feel as if I have lost my second mother instead of an aunt. I don't know if there is anyone out there who can really understand what the means to me but I feel lost in a way. I can't get my mind to focus on anything except for Kathy. Good things finals are done. I knew that this day was coming but why did it have to come? I know that my wants are quite selfish because she was in so much pain. I guess now it is now time for me to be the person I know I can be in order to be worthy of seeing them again once my time comes. I don't think that there is anything else that I want besides to be worthy of seeing my family again. They are my world and life will never be the same without them. I love them so much and it is so hard having to be without them. They are true examples of who I want to be in my life. I just hope that they are proud of who I am and what I do.
I love you Grandma and Kathy. Please watch over us and be a guardian angel. I still need you even though you are on the other side and are busy doing other work. I look forward to seeing you again!
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